YouauthorusOrigins

  Hey, guys its me Rj Knight Thank you all so much for continuing to visit and support the site, especially the new members. Sorry for the period of inactivity. Over this stretch alot of critical, personal  changes have gone on in my life. I have been working very intently on fixing these problems . It will be an uphill climb as it has been so far, I am honestly moved and continually surprised by all the support you have given to me. I am working hard to get the site back to the simpler idea, the one I first envisioned.

  Me and RJ Knight have been working on videos for about easily over a year now. We have made a lot of videos in the time. Sadly, despite the length of time that we have been working on these videos, only around 20 have been released. This is with huge gaps been the releases and lower quality content. It’s been because of how difficult I’ve made it to develop and RJ has certain standards on effort. I would like to start off by stating that it is entirely my fault that these videos have not been released. The reality is that we have at least three hundred videos started that have not been released and are far from being put out. There are quite a few reasons why this is the case but I’m going to focus here on one. This one reason is probably the most inexcusable,  is that 99% of this is my fault.

    I have something really important to do in the next few days. I have been focused on this for a few months now. Its been very important to the trajectory of my life. Once, this is over I can now focus on just interpersonal changes and getting output back. Will be on it soon, thanks.  

I had a pretty good time yesterday (12, 23, 2016). I have a quite a few problems but I possible don’t have to worry about dying as much so that opens up some options. I am a bit more refocused, emotionally I am now starting to mend some of the issues that have developed over time. Mostly the positive development is due to space from Micheal. Its taken a lot of time to get this space, I mean really aggressive pushes since October and nothing else just to get time to start dealing with the fatalistic issues that hvae developed since I met him. Yesterday, I was feeling more emotionally stable, don’t know how long that will last but the orientation is good. He’s been pushing space but being there so he can work on being his own person. Decoupling and fixing the dependency, again its really helped me over the last few months work on my emotional state. Not perfect as I did damage my hand not too long ago due to the maxed out problems in a rare emotional outburst. The abnormal behavior can get pretty bad and its hard on my managing all of this all the Read More…

    Its me Michael aka Absolute Zero and I am going to announce some changes I’m making concerning Youauthorus and my personal brand as a musician. Basically I’m stopping my pursuit of music for the foreseeable future. I’ve basically been failing to get my brand together for the last 3 years. Thanks to the help from really close friends, especially RJ , I have had some real moments of success trying to come up as a rapper, but I’m not stable enough or even capable enough to run this brand.

  – 7# Performance Artist Review Velvet Jones–     An artist that is rarely appreciated was the DJ. At many events related to Catalyst Hip Hop, Velvet Jones seems to br the DJ (the ones I’ve seen). There are other really skilled Dj‘s in the Catalyst residence that probably shut it down before I started writing these reviews. When it comes to a DJ with prodigious talent, I put Velvet in that category, easily. I don’t have much to say about his performance on a technical level because I’m not a sound guy. I can say on a sonic aesthetic level, Velvet was on point. No discernible problems, that is the high praise for those who operate professionally in sound. They are the people in the background. Without them, there can be no show(well, not a very a good show).

I’m going to meetup with RJ tomorrow for a event at Artistic Vibes. While I’m there I’m going to record some of the Football Talks I have in my Input list. Tomorrow I’m going to record the following topics: how good was Tom Brady, Do the Patriots need Tom Brady, Colin Kaepernick not voting, why are the Patriots so dominant, and why Football coach firings are ruining Football. We will start working on this at 7 pm.  

  I’ve been thinking about this for a while. A person I know told me that the only thing I truly love is honor and morality. That I am not a human being, that I will never stop doing what I think is right no matter what the consequence because I’m mentally ill. She told me I will hold no great romances because I will never allow them to develop and or sacrifice them for the greater good. That I will die like my grandfather doing good for others who at the end will care nothing for me. Because I am a fool. Not the first time I have heard similar words but recently they really hurt the most.

  – 6# Performance Artist Review Spaz–     The last act to grace the stage of Props and Bonds Saturday Mic Live was an artist by the name of Spaz. To be very honest, it might seem like I’m bias when I say the things I am about to say about Spaz. Why, because I happen to know him on some level prior to this event. That being said, this is not that at all, if its one thing I am, its very even handed. Spaz is one of the best emcees I know of period. When I coined the term “Bless The Mic With Bars“, Spaz is one of the emcees I had in mind when I developed that term. He is honestly amazing and the group Zolomon Grunji is like a super team of emcees.

– 5# Performance Artist Review Protege QOQ–     Another great performer came to the stage, his name is Protege QOQ. I didn’t know about him before but I do now. Protege is a great artist, great performer and a really cool guy overall. From what I saw that night, Protege is definitely going to get better. Which is scary in a way, if your a competitor. Its talent and drive with this guy, he has a focus that I don’t see often. What made Protege even more spectacular is that he marked the room. What I mean by this, is that the performer prior to him, Tamika J was amazing. She had given a spectacular performance, which vibed differently to anything we had hear prior that night. It was a tough act to follow, if I hosted this event, I would’ve held an intermission so that the stage could cool off. However Protege showed me he doesn’t need intermissions, or any handicaps. He breaks through walls, that’s the type of guy he is, as time goes on raises the value of his performance that night to me.

– 4# Performance Artist Review Tamika J–      I am going to have to sincerely thank Props and Bonds Saturday Mic Live for blowing me away with this literally surprising performance. This is the first time I have ever seen Tamika J perform to my memory. I was beyond impressed with I heard and saw that night. I really value the sincere expression of the personhood of the artist. Well, Tamika J has soul, its just that simple, even If I wanted to, I could not reduce it any further.

– 3# Performance Artist Review Young Blesson–       Props and Bonds booked Young Blesson, a performer that I really like alot. The most important thing to me when I listen to, or see an artist ,is to sincerely feel I am getting that artist. Young Blesson always seems to bring himself, I’ve never seen him short change anyone on that. That is an really important and underrated quality that alot of people do not look for enough. So, that is one of the first reasons why I like Young Blesson, and as expected that night he delivered with maximal effort. Its hard not to respond to sincerity and Young Blesson‘s performance helped to bring me out of a hard mental time. His intro was very interesting and funny as he talked about his hustle. He states that he can be very …. ruthless is not the word… beyond serious maybe about express when it comes to getting his money. From what he expressed about his side dealings in the intro he has a very good business ethic. It honestly wasn’t surprising to me because it comes through in his music. He’s a really nice guy, but he is Read More…

–2# Performance Artist Review Southern Slaves–     The next act of the night was a group called Southern Slaves. They are a pretty good local Hip Hop group in Miami, Florida. (Personally believe that they need to release music videos). Honestly, I did not catch much of their performance mentally because I was in a bit of a place when they performed. However I have seen perform before and the crowd always loves them, it seems.

– 1# Performance Artist Review Dermo–   The first official act of the night was by Dermo. He’s tall and big man, with a good character. He came dressed in black and sported a sharp and cleanly handled beard. As imposing as his statue and figure is in a crowd, his abilities as a performer are even bigger.  Dermo’s a crowd raiser, he gets people moving and acting. That’s one of the biggest performance points I took away form him. This is actually not an easy thing to do, but Dermo does it so organically. I noticed people moving their feet and responding energetically to key moments in his street witty bars. He definitely had the attention of a few ladies who were just entertained by his character (should bring out to spots to perform some homies can rebound off the shots he doesn’t chases down lol).

The other day, (actually it was after Props and Bonds Saturday Mic Live) I was in Catalyst Hip-hop. I normally get shy and have some level of anxiety talking to people in these kind of settings. I know it seems counter intuitive that I can perform music in front of hundreds or thousands of people. But casual to  intimate conversations make me massively uncomfortable except for all but a few people. My friend RJ was trying to take a break in the corner of the room (sleep or nap). I really should have been just talking to people, but I just stood around in his area.

The last post I made was not good. I spent too much time writing it. These posts/logs should be more off the cuff. The way I wrote the last post generally covers my problems that I can list causally off my head. (worked on it to make it better) I know that a few people expressed that my problems are normal (supporting me when they found out about my blog series), but they aren’t. I’m sure most of you reading this don’t know that I’m both sadistic and masochistic (S/M). I know that this alone isn’t incredibly uncommon, but I do fear that my masochism has lead me to create environments for my own failure (its a complicated and discover more all the time). Which doesn’t just hurt myself ,it also hurts the people around me and I have to change this (there are other major problems but this ties into them strongly, making them very warped). Why because I seek people out and wrap them into my world. – I want my brothers wife because its my brother’s wife